NEWS ALERT: CAULIFLOWER - AN ACT OF GOD

If I were to take a guess, you didn't have your entire grocery trip the past two weeks turned upside-down by the absence of cauliflower. Last week, I went to the grocery store in the afternoon and thought it was my fault I didn't get any cauliflower. This week I went at my usual Sunday morning time and AGAIN there was no cauliflower. If you are a regular follower, you know that I meal plan for the week and that the only way I can afford to shop at Whole Foods is to show up with a precise list. Taking away a key ingredient from my meals is just cruel. Sure, romanesco "rice" will be fine in my stuffed peppers, but it isn't what I wanted AND it is a dollar more, ugh.

Clearly, somewhere between acts of terrorism, we missed what has happened to the cauliflower. Obviously, I turned to Google for answers and, for maybe the first time, am disappointed in the lack of reporting there has been on the cauliflower shortage. The best I found was a Produce Alliance market update, which sums up the situation pretty accurately"ACT OF GOD: DEMAND EXCEEDS SUPPLY. We are seeing high prices and NONEXISTANT supply." Its always nice to know you aren't alone in your struggle (even if your comrade is a Produce Alliance that cannot spell nonexistent correctly), but an explanation beyond the apocalypse would have been helpful. Let's thank a local superhero Meteorologist D.J. Kayser for making an attempt at an adequate explanation. Apparently, we have cold weather in the Western half of our country to thank for our upset grocery lists. 


This means no cauliflower rice, cauliflower pizza crusts, cauliflower mash; how will paleo-eaters ever survive in this trying time? As I mentioned, I settled on romanesco - a cross between broccoli and cauliflower. I used it in Civilized Caveman's Crockpot Stuffed Peppers (not delicious, don't bother) and as a base for some "fried rice" to go with my leftover Mooshu Pork from Julie Bauer's cookbook.

First of all, the Mooshu Pork is and was delicious. Second of all, my "fried rice" was also super delicious. So delicious in fact, that when the point came that I really should have put my fork down and saved the rest for leftovers, I chose to power through, as if it would never be as delicious as it was in that exact moment. Now I am sad I don't have leftovers - the struggle is real.

Cauliflower (or Romanesco) rice is an excellent side dish that can be altered to fit whatever meal you are seeking. It can be Mexican, it can be Asian, it can be Italian risotto and it can just be plain old rice. A quick google search will show you that the possibilities are endless. My search included "quick cauliflower fried rice" and I came to this recipe, which I then decided to make even quicker by ignoring all the annoying parts (boiling). To make my fried rice, I chopped up a carrot and some scallions, then sautéed my "riced" romanesco, carrot and scallions in coconut oil, stirring in about 1/2 tbsp. of Red Boat fish sauce and 1 tbsp. of Coconut Aminos, salt & pepper. Note: I used half a head of a large romanesco and it should have been two servings, but I chose to make it one. Yes, what is pictured below is a massive plate of food and yes, I did eat every last bit of it. 

I know the news is dire, but this too shall pass and in the meantime, you'll have to settle for romanesco rice.