Jamaican Me Hungry

View from our B&B

For my last Spring Break ever, I went to Jamaica with my step-sister Micha. I had all of three drinks in 5 days, was in bed before 11 and up before 8 every day - clearly, I am now too old for spring break anyway.

Fruit Appetizer

We stayed at a beautiful B&B in Montego Bay (montegobayinn.com) owned and managed by Elaine and Peter, the most accommodating and hospitable people perhaps on this planet. Neither of us had ever felt so taken care of, saying goodbye to them was like a farewell after a summer with your favorite aunt and uncle. The highlight of our trip was our morning breakfast. Each evening, Peter would ask us what we would like for breakfast, with a selection of Jamaican and non-Jamaican options. This was like no breakfast you have ever seen. Sitting out on the veranda overlooking the pool and the ocean, we were brought fresh coffee and an appetizer every morning of the freshest fruit -
mango, kiwi, grapefruit, papaya, banana, and watermelon. I have no idea why it took me until then to discover that papaya is a gift from the heavens.

Next, our entree came out. My sister, much more adventerous than I, got the seafood option every morning. This included the traditional ackee and salt fish as well as her favorite, a whole fried fish. I usually had some version of eggs with their local green called callaloo, but one morning I did have the brown chicken stew (yes stew for breakfast). Maybe you are starting to get an idea of how heavy this breakfast was, but if not, hold tight. With our entree came about a 3" x 4" yucca cake, boiled green banana, sweet plantains and Jamaican dumplings called Johnnycakes. While we did our best to eat all of it, there was just no way that we could - even with my sister eating for two (she's having a boy!). Yet, those dumplings were so delicious that we would carry them around with us all day, finishing them when we could. One day, we hung onto one until 7:30 pm.

Over our stay, our portion sizes noticeably decreased as our hosts realized we were incapable of shoveling it all in. What my sister and I came to discover was that we weren't capable of eating again until late in the afternoon, and weren't actually hungry until almost dinner time. You always read about eating a filling breakfast, but I at least, either am not hungry enough in the early morning or don't want to use up a ton of calories first thing in the morning. Some mornings though, I will try and wait and cook a healthier than chicken stew, but bigger breakfast and do find that I have way less of a need to snack before and even after lunch.

I tried to recreate the morning fruit plate ritual upon returning to school. It really loses some of its magic when you have to fix it yourself and enjoy it while reading Secured Transactions law, looking out at a gray rainy sky. I made do with some fresh grapefruit from the tree in my yard back in Florida and the produce that seemed fresh at the grocery store, but what I wanted was my one true love - papaya. The biggest problem I discovered was gigantor papaya at the grocery store instead of the small ones we had in Jamaica. Two weeks after being back I found a perfectly ripe small papaya (warning: they are pretty pricey, at least here in Nashville at $2.99 each). I highly recommend my favorite way to enjoy papaya:

1. Slice papaya in half lengthwise and scoop out seeds (P.S. you can save these and crush for use in place of peppercorns)
2. fill with yogurt or cottage cheese
3. Top with any combination of nuts, wheat germ, bananas, berries, honey/agave, etc. 

In addition to enjoying our breakfast, we also greatly enjoyed Jamaican patties, shocking the locals when we could not get enough of the $2 Jamaican style empanadas. Nor did we stick with safe vegetable, chicken or cheese - we went straight for the minced beef and cheese. Warning: you can convince yourself that you can happily live on dumplings, patties and papaya during a trip to Jamaica.

Doctor's Cave Beach, Montego Bay

We did just slightly more than eat in Jamaica, spending most of our time relaxing on the beach or by the pool. This may sound boring, but it was glorious. I cannot tell you the last time I actually just relaxed, read mindless magazines and a fun book. It was the first time since I started law school that I haven't traveled with a single law book; untethering in itself was a vacation. 

Our big excursion day was bittersweet and I am sharing it with you as equal parts endorsement and warning. Climbing the Dunn's Rivers Falls is recommended by all tourist sites you can google and by the locals as well. We booked our excursion ahead of time online via Viator.com. There were two options: falls and shopping tour in Ocho Rios or just the falls. I read the reviews online that the shopping tour wasn't really all that worth it and we signed up for the falls only. Now, when it came time to confirm our pick-up location, the tour company couldn't get their bus for the "falls only" tour up the narrow road to our B&B. Peter insisted that they pick us up, because that was what we had paid for and so we found ourselves unintentionally on the falls and shopping tour combo. 

Endorsement: The falls were beautiful and it was really cool to be able to have climbed up a waterfall. You are kept in a group accompanied by a guide and it takes about an hour in total. If you are planning a trip to Jamaica, pack a pair of water shoes. We rented ours from a lady on the side of the street. So far, I don't have any signs of foot fungus, but I am considering myself lucky. Also, I thought I was really clever and spent $25 on a waterproof disposable camera just to discover that there is no such thing as "One-Hour Photo" anymore. I took the camera to Walgreens and was told that it would be 7-14 business days before I got my photos back. I will be sure to update this post once that happens. 

Warning: Now, avoid the shopping at all costs unless you truly enjoy being harassed, haggled, having your personal space violated and pouring money down the drain. There are two shopping stops. The first is a commercial strip mall that is only accessible by tourists and they give you free coffee and rum. Now, I highly recommend having a cup of coffee with coffee rum or two, but my sister and I successfully avoided spending money in these stores. THEN we got dumped at the "Pineapple Craft Market." I honestly am getting anxiety all over again just thinking about this so I am going to keep it short. 20 minutes and $40 later, I was the disgruntled owner of a wooden mortar and pestle with Jamaica carved on it and a wooden carved cat that wasn't even cute. In the process, I had been harassed, had stranger's hands in my hair as they begged me to let them braid it and been pushed to rudeness, announcing to the 50 other people that wanted me to see their shop that I was done being pressured and forced into purchasing items that I did not want, not to ask me again and that I would rather have given them each $5 than have to pack the nonsense I was beaten down into purchasing. 

Now, one couple seemed to enjoy spending $300 at the craft market. I think they must have many more $300 than me. For my part, I wanted to cry, be put in a straight jacket and left alone in a white padded room after the shopping trip. The whole excursion would have been ruined, except for two things: (1) making friends with two lawyers at firms in NYC on our bus, who gave me great advice and offered to stay in touch with me as I have more questions and get closer to moving; and (2) the falls were truly very, very beautiful.